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BRING BACK MR.CAT


Blacnova
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Bring back the cat?  

9 members have voted

  1. 1. Bring back the cat?

    • I want to feed him, yes.
      4
    • I hate that cat, I want a dog, no.
      5


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After you read this, I guarantee you will feel sorry for me.

 

Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

 

That's what life is like to me.

 

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else.Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like heck to me. I will never know true love.

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Mr. Cat got 50 warns. He was permabanned. This will change nothing. Would you vote to put a parasite back into someone if you felt sorry for the it? That is what you are displaying. Mr. Cat was banned until time ends, and it will stay that way.

 

Crt I cry for you.

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Okay, this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don't ask me how you're gonna get a fucking orangutan, because that's not my problem.

 

So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable; all orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why that is, it's just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You're seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to her. "Did you know the guy with the orangutan?", "You used to date the guy with the orangutan?", "Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?".

 

Next thing you know she's calling.

"I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?"

 

"Geez, I dunno; me and Clyde were going to go to monster truck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact, the whole social calendar seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh well, you know my number so don't be a stra-- Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's making Mojitoes."

At this point, the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You're IM-ing. You're talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You're one big Brady Bunch.

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