Presiii

For Breezy: That's to summon the lower left testicle of Cthulu, not Sugar Tits. Fore Race0pone: that is not a stove, that is a box stove made of wood. The stove I am talking about is a WOODSTOVE, AKA a stove that burns wood. It may be between the years of 1897 to 1957. Try some yard sales. REMEMBER: In my absence I cannot make a video tutorial. I will try once my Marching Band season is done (depending on my AP workload).

As your local Dark Magic Expert, I would like to put out my first tutorial. It involves summoning the server owner and making him do your bidding (if it's not to much, he may just say "fuck you" and leave) YOU WILL NEED: 1. Skull (real or a Halloween Store copy). 2. A wood stove 3. A bust of an Old Man (optional, but recommended) 4. Blood of a human STEPS: 1. Place the stove against a wall, pipe facing into the wall. 2. Place skull onto the LEFT side of the stove (left from the front, right from the back). 3. (OPTIONAL) Set bust in front of stove. 4. Obtain human, shoot them ONCE in the abdomen. 5. State these words LOUDLY: "Sugar! I summon thee! Approach my feet at once! I have given you all you need, now SUMMON"! 6. Enjoy your wish Hope this helps all of you! Stay tuned for possible video tutorial later in November!

Once you obtain the goat, cut its throat and douse your computer (with the TitsRP forum page open) and chant these old Russian words: Именно поэтому и в итоге все равно реально работает закон Then LOUDLY chant your new name choice no more or no less than 5 times. This is where the cat comes in. Place the baby sling on your chest and insert the cat into it. The more it scratches you, the better. Once it is comfortable, sit in your chair and refresh the page. You should now have your new forum name. Hope this helps you! I've studied the arts of Black Magic and all that for 5 minutes. I'm an expert. Trust me.

Local farmers market. eBay is also a good option.

There's a trick that involves black magic. It requires a goat, German steel knife (NO SUBSTITUTIONS!) and a cat in a baby sling. Ill dig my Necronomicon out after classes today.

That kind of stuff is NOT okay. It's just mean to say that kind of things to a TMod. What if they have good potential and some guy walks up and says "HUR DUR UR JUST A TRIAL MOD UR NOT STAFF UR NOT GONNA GET TO BE A MOD HUUUUUUUUR"!? That would put me down and make me question my abilities. So, you have an AMAZING point Crt. If you wouldn't like someone to call YOU a bad TMod, then DON'T do it to others. I have been called a bad Moderator. And it fucking hurts like salt covered shards of glass slicing open a wound. Imagine what a guy who has only been at it for a day, has high hopes about it and works his ass of, and has potential reacts to this. He might quit or just start falling behind. The reason some mods get demoted might be because they were called a bad mod early on and lost that helpful spark. I'm gonna say it again, if it would hurt you, don't say it.

Um, he CAN'T come back. If he managed to get the 50 warns, he is PERMANENTLY banned. There should be no changing that. He fucked up, boo hoo life doesn't let you get second chances. Maybe he if he didn't get all those warns and learned to play properly, he would still be here. And, in my opinion, Mr. Cat was kind of a douche to me and many others. He should be banned from the Server, Forums AND TS if he can't handle following rules. He can't do anything anyway if he's not on the server... So, Mr. Cat, maybe another server will be nicer to you. You have obtained the 50 warn limit. We gave you MANY chances to straighten out, but you didn't. You blew it. By my standards, you are not welcome here based on your playing habits. Goodbye forever, and I bid you farewell.

I'll give you a pair of old work boots (steel toed), a pack of 5 React Wintermint, and a Bernie 2016 sticker.

"Avid Fans" wouldn't walk into a crowd of people and execution style RDM all of them after you were warned for raiding Bank Vault with no advert. Next time, think about your actions before carrying them out. I have had issues with you before (breaking NLR while I raided you) and I advise you serve out your ban like a good person and read the rules over again. Plus, it was only a day for you (RDM and D/C, your friend TeNad got longer with RDM x2 and D/C) so you should be good to return later tonight. Thank you.

Let's not drag this out, ok? Why would we steal your miners if we didn't want to be raided?

Don't forget that amazing raid party! [video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuid7GoE-1o&feature=youtu.be

Ahem. Those were Whale's bitminers. We later found that after the raid and Whale and I removed them. This was not a false ban, merely an attempt orchestrated by Whale and Koala. So, in my own opinion, they should be banned again for raiding a public place, and spawning goods in a base just for an excuse to raid. Here: mR pAnDa: can u unban me bc i was false banned mR pAnDa: plz mR pAnDa: there was entities in base Mr. President: They were whale's miners mR pAnDa: they were?? Mr. President: yep mR pAnDa: well it was false ban Last time I checked, Whale cannot raid a base for his own entities. Don't believe me? Why did he not get a screenshot of WHO owned the miners and JUST the miners. Edit: I recently received an explanation on why he was unbanned. I still disagree with the unban, but I won't fight it.

Eh that hitman thing was a screwup on my part. That's why it's Unofficial

So, without ANYONE giving me notice of this, One-Way Props were outlawed. Honestly, this rule is not needed for these reasons: 1) One-Way Props are a means of defense for a base. Saying that it's "Unfair for new players to raid and be shot through a One-Way Prop" is irrelevant. New players CAN build One-Way Props, we already made enough changes to raiding. 2) Why disallow them just now? They were allowed for longer than I've been playing on this server, so why now? Why not outlaw No-collided props when basing, or Just allow One-Way Props for the outside of a base (like a wall/fading door). 3) They're not abusive or cheating. Using a fence prop with the red portal looking material is abusing the nature of the material tool for seeing through certain props that cannot be made one way. Props that can me made one way are made that way to avoid this. So please, consider changing this rule or removing it outright.

they call me president (And yes, that is a Facehugger Plush Thing on my face, don't panic).

Sugar and I played checkers. Everyone else clusterfucked around us and acted like a 5 year old who chugged a can of Red Bull and 20 cups of coffee. [video=youtube]

Final Offer: $3.50 I will go no more, no less.

[align=center]MR. PRESIDENT'S UNOFFICIAL RULES I have heard MANY complaints about what rules are there and "what does his rule mean?" And honestly I wanted to do something about it. I have gone through the rules, editing some, taking others out, and totally re-working the job rules. This is in NO WAY OFFICIAL. I was just saving Sugar some time and doing my part as a member of the community to make it better for all. TABLE OF CONTENTS[/align] [align=center]Section 1: General Rules Section 2: Raiding and Basing Rules Section 3: RP Situation Rules Section 4: Job Rules[/align] [align=center]Section 1 Rules to Follow[/align] 1) Be helpful and kind to anyone that needs help with commands, jobs, basic mechanics to the game 2) Always have Shadowplay, Fraps, Dxtory, ect.. running. This is to catch people that should not be on this server. 3) Video proof is a huge plus when trying to get someone banned, kicked, talked to. 4) Try your best to speak English. This is an English server. 5) Follow admin rules and don't whine when things don't go your way. ADMIN SAY IS FINAL! 6) Call an admin or moderator if someone is breaking the rules / exploiting / hacking. 7) Write admin complaints on the forum or add us on steam if something is wrong. 8) Follow job rules 9) Follow RP Rules and try your best 10) All fading doors must be 5 seconds minimum or set to permanently unlock if opened through keypad. 11) Most jobs can kidnap,you must advert Kidnap 14) Max Kidnapping time is 10 minutes. After that time you must either slay them or release them. 15) Minimum mug time is 5 seconds 16) You cannot randomly knock people out without calling kidnap. 17) You must call assist if you are helping with a kidnap [align=center]Section 1-2: The Big DO NOTS![/align] 1) Don't troll, act stupid or just act clueless. 2.)DO NOT KIDNAP, MUG, PICKPOCKET IN SPAWN. 3) Do not spam anything that would lag the server, this will get you kicked, then banned. 4) Metagaming is defined as using information not known by a character for an advantage. for example, warranting for hearing meth sounds, or wanting someone for killing someone when the only proof is the killfeed. 5) Try not to spam votes. If people voted no 5 times for you to be a job, don't try anymore. 6) Don't lie, when you are in a situation outside of RP and you are caught lying, you will be banned instantly. 7) Don't use OOC for actual RP chat. Use Advert chat. 8) Spamming your mic with unpleasant sounds will get you gagged. 9) Don't go a small amount outside of your NLR circle and get revenge. When you die, you have no information about past events. 10) Don't hack or DDoS. This will result in a permanent ban. We take DDoS threats VERY seriously and we will not tolerate joking. 11) Don't RDM or attempt RDM 12) We don't allow bloodlust or any of that type of bullshit. 13) Don't whore anything. (Punching, Breaking down Doors) 14) Don't be a complete dick for no reason 15) Don't build on the streets unless you are a hobo. 16) No false keypads. This will get you kicked 17) Don't be overly racist. 18) NO PURGES 19) You cannot connect buildings with props 20) Do not open your fading doors with your keyboards, use the keypad. 21) Do not pickpocket people if they are AFK 22) Do not block off the meth dealer 23) If you own less than half of the doors in a base, you are not entitled to live in there and you must sell them so the owner can buy them 24) Do not hide in no collided props 25) Do not change your job name and think you can rdm people. Ex: You're a thief and change job name to Crips to kill bloods except you're still a thief. 26) Do not stack / precision props inside of props 27) Do not kill yourself in a kidnap. It is failrp. 28) Do NOT raid the theater. Its a safe place. [align=center]SECTION 2 Basing Rules[/align] A Base is a building owned by one or more players who are living inside at the moment. A base is defined as having one or more doors owned by one or more players that is secure and private. A store is not a base. If a base has a "Building" textscreen outside, then you CANNOT raid it. Hobo bases are public areas and cannot be raided. 1) Printing and/or making meth inside of a base with a building sign up will result in a warn and the destruction of the items. 2) All bases require fading doors to have accesible keypads. Failing to have keypads will get you kicked unless they are placed at request of an Admin. 3) The limit of fading doors is 3 PER BASE. 4) Sky Bases are bases only accesible through propclimb. These are NOT allowed and you will be kicked. 5) Bases only enterable through use of spiderman guns are not allowed and will get you kicked. 6) USE KEYPADS TO OPEN FADING DOORS! Using the keyboard bind will result in a warn and then a ban for repeat offences. [align=center]SECTION 2-2 Raiding Rules[/align] Raiding is when you forcefully enter a building without the owner's permission. Either to destroy illegal items or just to be a jerk. 1) You MUST ADVERT RAID! 2) If you want to help someone, advert "Assist". If you want to stop them, advert "Counter". 3) After calling raid, you are KOS to the occupants of the base. 4) Call raid OUTSIDE of the base. If caught calling it inside/not calling at all, you will be kicked or banned based on past experiences. 5) If you do not wish to raid after all, advert "False". The time limit to adverting False is 1 minute after the raid starts. Calling False will allow you to skip the cooldown. 6) There is a cooldown of 10 minutes to raiding a base. This means you cannot raid a base, restock C4 or ammo and raid it again. You can, however, go to another base after 3 minutes. If you die during a raid, however, you must wait 5 minutes and not 3. 7) If you die, you must advert "Over". The raid will not end until this is done and all people call over. 8) Make sure your job can raid. [align=center]SECTION 2-3 PD Raiding Rules[/align] 1) DO NOT RAID PD WITH LESS THAN 2 CP ON. YOU WILL BE KICKED IF CAUGHT DOING SO. 2) Do not camp the PD waiting for the cooldown for the armory. 3) Building barriers during the raid is OK, just no fading doors or propblock. 4) If the Raid Leader (Person who called PD Raid first) dies, the raid is over and everyone else involved must leave. 5) There is a 10 minute cooldown PER RAID! Not PER GROUP, PER PD RAID. 6) Do not camp in PD just to kill cops and claim self defense. [align=center]SECTION 2-4 Mega Basing[/align] A mega base is a large section of the map blocked off with 5 or more people living inside of the confines. It is not a building with 5 or more people, it is a LARGE SECTION OF THE MAP. 1) There MUST be 5 or more people living inside a mega base to allow the blocking off of the map. 2) you are allowed 1 fading door per person (minimum of 5). Choose wisely where you put your fading doors. 3) You MUST own all doors inside of the mega base. [align=center]SECTION 2-5 King Town Rules[/align] Contrary to popular belief, the King's Town is NOT a mega base. It is in his/her job description to make a town out of a section of land. 1) The King can make a town out of anywhere. He/She does not need 5 people to block off a section to make a town. 2) King must own ALL DOORS in the town. 3) The town is NOT UNDER THE JURISDICTION OF THE MAYOR. The town can have its own laws. [align=center]SECTION 3 Mugging[/align] 1) You MUST advert mug. For example, "/advert MUG! Drop 1k in 10 seconds or you will die!" 2) Mug cooldown is 1 minute. 3) Maximum mug amount is $2000 4) Minimum mug time is 10 seconds 5) Mugger is KOS to the victim, and if the victim attacks, the mugger can fight back. 6) You CAN be wanted after adverting mug. [align=center]SECTION 3-2 Kidnapping[/align] 1) YOU MUST ADVERT KIDNAP! NO EXCEPTIONS! 2) Kidnap cooldown is 5 minutes after captive/kidnapper has died, been broken free, or released. 3) Do not kidnap AFK people. It's mean and just a dick move in general. [align=center]SECTION 3-3 Pickpocketing[/align] 1) You do NOT have t advert pickpocket. 2) You are KOS to your victim or AOS to any CPs around. 3) Do NOT go up to someone and click once and walk away. This is baiting someone to kill you. [align=center]SECTION 4 JOB RULES These job rules go by their F4 menu section in the game.[/align] Citizen: 1) You are a citizen. 2) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Fight Club Owner: 1) Build a fight club for the Fighters to compete in. 2) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Fighter: 1) Find the fight club and compete against other fighters. 2) Do not randomly punch people. 3) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Landlord: 1) Collect rent from people within your area. 2) Maximum you can charge is 5K. 3) If the occupants do not comply, get the PD to evict them. 4) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Medic: 1) Set up shop and heal people for a cost or for free. 2) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Theater Manager: 1) Play videos for people in the theater. 2) You CAN play pr0n and gore, but if someone asks you to stop, you must stop it. 3) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Hobo: 1) Build a home and live on the street. Make art for people. 2) You can Raid, Mug and Kidnap ONLY WITH THE HOBO LORD! Hobo Lord: 1) You must lead your congregation of Hobos to a better life or riches and freedom. 2) You can Raid and Mug ONLY WITH HOBOS. You can Kidnap alone. Hitman: 1) Take hits for people. 2) MAX CHARGE FOR HIT IS $200! 3) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Mercenary: 1) Get paid to defend people. 2) Advert "I am now a mercenary for [Person/Group]" if hired. Failing to do so will result in a warn. 3) You can only Raid, Mug, and Kidnap with your employer. POLICE AND MAYOR RULES: 1) DO NOT WARRENT ON SUSPICION! IT IS METAGAME AND WILL RESULT IN A WARN AND A KICK. 2) You CANNOT be corrupt. 3) Make laws relevant to the RP. Ridiculous laws include only crouch walk, talking is illegal, and POLICE ARE IMMUNE TO LAWS! 4) Crosswalks MUST be made if Jay-Walking is outlawed. 5) CPs CANNOT KIDNAP IT MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL WHEN I SEE THIS! 6) PD front door MUST be open and unlocked at all times. 7) Police can arrest anyone who is mugging, raiding, or kidnapping if they adverted. Black Market Dealer (BMD): 1) Set up shop in a remote building. Police can shut down your store if they want. 2) DO NOT SELF SUPPLY OR SUPPLY ONLY FOR ONE GROUP! 3) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Gun Dealer: 1) Set up shop in a public building, for you sell legal guns. 2) DO NOT SELF SUPPLY OR SUPPLY ONLY FOR ONE GROUP! 3) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Bank Robber: 1) Rob the PD or another base. 2) You can Raid, you cannot Mug or Kidnap Mugger: 1) Mug people for some quick cash. 2) You have a pickpocket tool to take guns, cash, or both. 3) You can Mug, you cannot Raid or Kidnap Raider: 1) Raid buildings and kill people inside. 2) You can Raid and mug, you cannot Kidnap Demolitonist: 1) You have C4 to blow stuff up with. 2) DO NOT RANDOMLY PLACE C4 AND ADVERT "ALLAHU AKBAR"! IT'S ANNOYING AND AGAINST THE RULES! 3) You can Raid, you cannot Mug or Kidnap Thief: 1) Break into houses and steal stuff. 2) You still have to advert raid. 3) You can Raid, you cannot Mug or Kidnap Bloods and Crips: 1) You are at war with eachother all the time. 2) You can Raid and Mug with the Leader, you cannot Kidnap Stalkers: 1) You are the embodiment of Pap223. Let his name live on. 2) You can join up with Master Stalker and have a weird ass congregation or something. 3) Honestly, just be quiet, stalkerish, and creepy. 4) You can Kidnap with Master Stalker, you cannot Raid or Mug Pets: 1) Pets are...pets. Be cute and cuddly and have an owner. 2) Master Pet is you true master. Meet with him/her and kill Rayquaza. 3) Master Pet can own guns, pets cannot. 4) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Pedophile: 1) Steal people and Raep them 2) You can Kidnap, you cannot Mug or Raid Snoop Dogg: 1) Smoke Weed and start a disco rave thing with Terry Crew 2) You can only Raid and Mug with Terry Crew. You cannot Kidnap Terry Crew: 1) You're a big N*gga with a big personality. 2) You are Snoop Dogg's body guard. Protect him until death does you part. 3) You can only Raid and Mug with Snoop Dogg. You cannot Kidnap Cultist: 1) Follow the leadership of the Destroyer of Worlds. 2) Kidnap anyone. YOU MUST ADVERT IT! 3) You cannot Raid or Mug. You can Kidnap Destroyer of Worlds: 1) Order around the cultists and kidnap people. 2) YOU MUST ADVERT KIDNAP! SCREW THE OLD RULE, YOU MUST ADVERT IT! 3) You cannot Raid or Mug. You can Kidnap Mafia Jobs: 1) You are either Russian or Italian Mafia men. Set up a base and do mafia stuff. 2) Unlike Crips and Bloods, you tolerate eachother and are not at war. However if you DO go to war, you are all to kill eachother until the Russian or Italain Mob Boss dies. After they die, the war is over. 3) You can Raid and Mug as a group. You cannot Kidnap King: 1) Start a town for yourself (See Section 2-5 for more details). 2) Make laws in the town to suit its style. 3) You can go to war with PD. If you or the mayor dies, the war is over. 4) You can Raid and Mug with your Townsfolk, but you cannot kidnap as the King. Hire a cultist or Destroyer of Worlds to do that Terminator (VIP ONLY): 1) As the Terminator, you must carry out the bidding of Skynet and destroy the world and kill John Connor. 2) Advert a Skynet Takeover before killing people. COOLDOWN IS 30 MINUTES! 3) You can Raid and Mug, but not Kidnap VIP ONLY JOBS AHEAD! Alien Race: 1) Kidnap people for the good of the Race. 2) If all 4 Aliens are together, you can start an "Earth Takeover" where you can kill CP until all aliens are dead. After 10 minutes of the Takeover, you will succeed and be named the Overlords of Earth. COOLDOWN IS 30 MINUTES! 3) Together means ALL 4 aliens in one place as a group! 4) You can Kidnap, but you cannot Raid or Mug unless all 4 are together Assassin: 1) Take hits and carry them out all stealth like. 2) Max hit price is $200. 3) You cannot Raid, Mug or Kidnap Batman: 1) You are the Dark Knight. As a hero, you roam around the town looking for crime. Anyone who is wanted you can kill. 2) You must still advert counter to Muggings, Raids, Pickpockets, etc. 3) You can also become a Super Villan and be a dick. 3) You cannot Raid or Kidnap. You can Mug Dragon Warrior: 1) Be OP and wreck stuff up. 2) You can challenge people to fights. You can only challenge once every 5 minutes. 3) You can only use your sword in a Challenge Fight. 4) You can Raid and Mug. you cannot Kidnap Grim Reaper: 1) As death, your job is to take people to the underworld. If they do not accept, kill them. 2) You can only offer to take someone to the underworld if their health is below 30. If they refuse, then advert "Have fun in heck, mortal" or something along those lines. 3) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Master Raider/Master Thief: 1) The Master Raider and Master Thief carry superior lockpicks, making them essential to a raid and thus much better. 2) Get a team and raid a base for profit. 3) You can Raid, you cannot Mug or Kidnap Nations Agent: 1) You do not have to advert Counter to anything except Raids. 2) Be a great hero and keep people safe. 3) You can Raid and Mug, you cannot Kidnap Spawn of heck: 1) You are the perfect minion of heck. Every time you rise, you must advert "A heck Demon has Spawned". 2) After you advert, you may kill 1 person every 10 minutes. Every 10 minutes, you must re-advert before you can kill. 3) CPs MUST make the Spawn of heck wanted after the Advert. Hunt him down and arrest him. 4) You cannot Raid, Mug, or Kidnap Terrorist: 1) As a Jihadist, you must kill the Infidels that run the PD. 2) You MUST advert "Terror on City" TWICE before doing anything. You can only kill CPs for 10 minutes, then you can kill civilians and other jobs. 3) You can Raid and Mug, you cannot Kidnap The Enclave: 1) You have no purpose other than to terrorize the town with raids and muggings. 2) You can Raid and Mug, you cannot Kidnap. This is a Draft Version of my Unoffical Rule Redux. This can and will change once Sugar starts reading it.

Fact: I have a jar of sugar on my counter. Sometimes I take spoonful after spoonful and eat it after my coffee. Is this bad? Am I going to die if I keep doing this? Answer: Who gives a shit? It's amazing.

As told by Harry Callahan, this would-possibly-be-banned-crasher turned into Server History within a minute. [video=youtube] FOR A LARGER AND BETTER SCREEN QUALITY, CLICK THIS LINK OR CLICK ON VIDEO TITLE:

Me and 5 others took to a Mega Base due to rumors of 6 printers. This is the result of our raid. [video=youtube]

Just a little something I made in like 45 minutes. Enjoy. Watch till end pls. [video=youtube]https://youtu.be/IDzxR4xpAuY